post 93

By tuck 09 Sep 2000

i never realized how debilitating shear frustration could be.

it is certainly one of the worst feeling human emotions, and lately i’d go so far as to call it the absolute worst. anger, for example, can actually be fun and useful. sadness, (from loss, for example) can be hurtful… but it can be dealt with by realizing that what is gone is gone. there’s no use suffering over the past, it is finished. but frustration can be torture- it leaves you unfinished so you don’t get the luxury of dealing with whatever the situation is. there has been no loss, but there continues to be forever potential for loss. half of you wants whatever you’re frustrated at to just end/die/lose/leave, causing pain, but at least rendering you able to deal with it. but the other half of you won’t give up the hope that you can prevent the ending/dying/losing/leaving, even if you are sure you can’t. the second-guessing, the forever thinking… it starves you of the breath of closure and forces you to endure.